Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
