Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
