Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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