You don't have asthma, your pregnant
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
