I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
