That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
