you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
