and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
