It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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