I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
COCAINE IS GR8
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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