Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
