I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
