I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Blood and glitter go together right?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize