Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
