I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize