I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize