I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Me too!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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