WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
