The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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