I am in a vortex of obligation.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
