cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
