i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
