how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
