Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I understand Curling. That high.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
