Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it was like eating out sand paper
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
