I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My vagina is very pro this idea
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize