Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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