you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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