take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
