Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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