The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
