If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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