why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So much Jack, so little girl.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
