I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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