now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
