you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
