My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
