As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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