So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
