My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
