That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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