That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
