theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
