my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Randomize
