I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
