I heard we made out
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
