i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
tell me about the fingering
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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