Umm I'm too high to move.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
