No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
its liver damage thursday
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
