What a fucking waste of an outfit
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can vaginas get frostbite?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
