where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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