Please don't use social media to get back at me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My vagina just recognized that song.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
