3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we're making bets on your personal life
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize