ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
im on a boat
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