i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
