The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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