Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
