Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
